Yesterday was a delight. After a lonely morning (I did my best not to whine), a friend cam and took me out to lunch.We had a great time engaging in “girl talk.” Then I went to my rehab physician and he gave me only positive feedback. He said my face looked symmetrical. Who wouldn’t love that compliment? He also said I was doing very very well and would most likely be ready to return to work by Thanksgiving. He even wrote a note about it! I took the note to Fortis College to show my colleagues that I was planning to return next month and everyone gave me tons of hugs! It was great! I met a new faculty member who used to work in neuro rehab and he reminded me, cheerfully, that recovery from brain surgery takes time and I should be patient. He told me a story about one of his patient’s full recovery and it really lifted my outlook. By the end of the day I was giddy and positive and this morning I woke up with a smile on my face, feeling pretty dang good. I think positivity promotes health. Now one more hurdle: seeing the neuro ophthalmologist on November 11 and getting my vision back to normal. And getting through each day with a positive outlook. It really makes a difference.
Not much to update at this point. I haven’t made progress in a couple of weeks. Going to my rehab physician tomorrow so we’ll see what he has to say. My main concerns are vision and balance but I can’t detect improvement during the past two weeks. And I’m losing hair like crazy! I don’t feel terribly stressed, so I’m thinking the stress is showing up in hair loss. I am still watching lots of movies. I’ve seen the following:
On the Waterfront – I think that’s the first movie I’ve seen starring Marlon Brando. He is an amazing actor.
Maze Runner – Pretty good, very engaging, and needs a sequel.
Alexander and the Very Bad Day – Laughed out loud. Fun family movie.
Meet the Mormons – Much better than I expected. It’s like a documentary but focused on interesting personal/family stories.I liked it.
Saint Vincent – A downer until the last couple minutes. Not sure I’d recommend it, although Bill Murray did a great job.
My friend brought over a bunch more DVD’s so I’ll have more movies to report on. Hopefully I will stay busy and won’t have time to watch movies!
I am being reminded about how fortunate and blessed I am to be surrounded by wise counselors. Today I woke up to pain and swelling in my left eye and temple. When I told my daughter about it she said that it was a sign that healing was happening. Her wisdom helped me to look at the event from a different perspective, and not worry and whine so much. Later I spoke to my insurance company case manager. I mentioned that I had not noticed an improvements for about two weeks in my vision or balance. She said to think of it like a plateau on a diet, where no weight is lost for a few weeks, and then weight is lost again. So that helped me to look at this healing plateau as temporary. She said my brain was just “taking a break” for a bit and I would notice improvement again soon. I am blessed to have people around me, including you readers (See Sonja Simpson’s comment, for example) who are wise and tell me just the right things at just the right times. Thanks to all.
I am so excited! I got on my stationary recumbent bike just now and spun for 5 WHOLE MINUTES! It felt great. My goal is 30 minutes per day and I am planning to increase the time gradually. So by the time I am set to get back to work I will have the stamina required to work 8 hours. In addition to spinning, I added an affirmation that my daughter taught me this morning on our walk. With every turn of the bike pedal I said a word of the affirmation: “Healing, healing, whole, healthy,” I also visualized my left temple swelling going down, and also spoke to my eyes and brain, giving them permission to heal themselves and do a good job of it (From the book Miracle Soul Healer). I also prayed a lot, with gratitude.
My husband and son Brad gave me a blessing last night and the main thing I remember are the words, “You will get well.” I am counting on it and at the same time am thankful for what I have learned so far on this healing journey.
This is one of those days when I don’t know what to write about because not much is happening. Seems like my vision has not improved in about a week, and getting dizzy while walking is common. I know I will get better, but it is challenging when getting better is not obvious. Once again I am thankful for friends and family who offer support and encouragement. I think we were not meant to travel alone in the world. Thanks to AHNA (American Holistic Nurses Association) for sending shoelaces to me. I didn’t know what they meant, but they are in preparation for when I return and can dance again. Isn’t that great? I have received about 4 pairs of shoelaces. How fun. Every year I dance like crazy at the AHNA annual conference.People notice. And I’m not a great dancer. I just love the freedom to “shake it up.”
This week I will go to occupational therapy and then next week I will re-visit my rehab physician. My new target is to be back to work by Thanksgiving. Appropriate, since I have so much to be thankful for.
My husband shared a book with me called MIRACLE SOUL HEALER by William Gladstone. The author recommends what I call an affirmation for healing so I tried it after praying about it. I repeated to my eyes and brain, “Hello, I love you. You can heal yourself. Do a good job. Thanks.” I repeated this several times while I was falling asleep last night and this morning I woke up and my left eye was super swollen and my double vision was worse. So the question is whether my decrease in ability is related to the the affirmation or not. Is this just a regular part of the healing process, or a regular part of the affirmation process? Healing is a mystery. We’l see how the day unfolds…
Yesterday was full. I took a 30 minute walk with my daughter. Then I took a shower and STOOD UP the whole time – no sitting! Big improvement! Then my friend came over and we went for a pedicure (very relaxing) and then lunch. Then I took a nap, which was frustrating because I really didn’t do a lot to earn a nap. Then after the nap I went to Occupational Therapy at University of Utah. I had a great talk with the therapist and will most likely return to work on Thanksgiving instead of Halloween. My vision is just not progressing like I thought it would, nor is my balance. I’m just hanging in there though. Will see a neuro ophthalmologist in a few weeks. On my way to a movie with my daughter now.
A few weeks ago I mentioned to a friend that I was bored because I can’t read or play on the internet. She brought me 8 movies to watch. They were great. I especially liked We Bought a Zoo and Ghost Town. Today, still very bored, I looked through my own collection of movies. I look for non-violent stuff and I’ve got a few good movies. I watched Zoolander. What a dumb movie. I loved it. I laughed out loud and it felt so nice! I’m planning to watch The Princess Bride, Finding Neverland, Bernie, Fried Green Tomatoes, Seabiscuit, and then I’ll look at more of my collection and pick out some other movies. On second thought, I hope my vision gets better faster so I won’t have to watch so many movies!
If you have recommendations for good movies you’ve seen that lean toward funny, let me know. I am so bored!
Well this is challenging – working on my laptop makes me dizzy. Maybe I am saying that wrong… I get dizzy when working on my laptop. Weird. I am going to talk to my optician tomorrow to see if it’s my new eyeglass prescription. We’ll see.
Yesterday I spent an hour outside with my family. We fed some ducks and relaxed by the lakeside. I must admit I got nervous because I worry that I’ll get worn out and have trouble making it back to the car. But I did just fine, and today I am going to go to church and see how that goes. Seems like everyday things that I used to do are now big deals. Aint life great? Yes it is. I actually put on make-up today so I won’t scare anyone at church. That was interesting. One eye is as usual but the other one is swollen so they don’t match. But if feels good tobe able to put make-up on so when I look in the mirror I don’t scare myself!
Wow I can actually see the keyboard letters on my laptop now. I got a new eyeglass lens on my right eye and things are more in focus now. I can even read for a few minutes at a time as long as I hold my eyeglasses in a certain position. I think I’ll call the optician about that. Went to a movie (16 Stones) yesterday and once again it was so nice to see everything in focus and single vision on the big screen. I know I will get better and I am still learning patience.
I take a walk everyday. My daughter escorts me. Today I did the whole 30 minutes without having to hold her hand. Yippee!! It’s the small things that make the big difference.