My husband and I walk the indoor track at the county recreation center every day. Attached to the building is the county Senior Center. Yesterday I took a Tai Chi class at the Senior Center while my husband continued to walk the track. Wow! It was great. I like it much better than walking. I took Tai Chi for three years a long time ago and it was nice to get back to it. And honestly, I kinda liked being with people in my age range. I spoke to the Tai Chi instructor. He has Parkinson’s Disease and said, “I eat right, I exercise, and I take my pills. I control the Parkinson’s. It doesn’t control me.” I was impressed and inspired. His wife was in class and was talking to several students after class. This couple is aging gracefully and healthily. I hope to do the same. I am looking forward to meeting more people at the Senior Center. We can be a great support to one another.
Every Sunday I go to three church meetings in a row, from 9 AM until noon. Yesterday I missed the first meeting because I overslept a bit and was very tired upon awakening. I went to the second meeting (Sunday School) and had a great deal of trouble seeing, so I kept my eyes closed much of the time. When the meeting was over I was thinking of going back home. My husband suggested I sit with a friend in the back row for the following meeting (Relief Society). I got very teary-eyed from fatigue and discouragement but decided to sit in the back row by myself. Once my husband left and I sat there I decided that sitting all alone feeling sorry for myself was not the best strategy. So I found the friend my husband mentioned and sat with her. She has been a strength to me throughout this healing journey. I immediately told her I was having a hard time, and then I started crying! Thank goodness I was in the back row so not too many people could see me. My friend put her arm around me and offered words of encouragement and comfort. She also mentioned that she was thinking of leaving the meeting but since I sat by her she decided to stay. So she felt that the comfort went both ways. Looking back, I am so glad I stayed, so glad my husband suggested I sit with her, and so glad I sat with her. Sometimes everything just falls into place. I felt so much better by the end of the meeting. And I feel good now – she’s taking me out to dinner tonight! I am a blessed woman.
I am leaving this week for North Carolina for the Board of Director’s Meeting of the American Holistic Nurses Association. I am looking forward to actually working for a change. I am the advisor to the president. It will be a challenge, but I will use the wheel chair service at the airport so I won’t get tired traveling. A couple of my friends talked me into it. And I have ordered a Handicapped hotel room. I also had to be talked into that. We’ll see how it all goes. My stamina will be tested, but I will be working with a wonderful group of holistic nurses so all should go well.
Although my husband cleared the energy flux at the indoor track where we walk, I continued to feel one small spot of energy flux on the track. The spot was directly next to the supply room for the gym. Today I asked a gym worker to allow us access to the supply room. She was very nice and got a key and let us in. Interestingly, there were 4 electrical boxes on the wall aligned right where I could feel the flux on the track. Isn’t that interesting? It’s like I could feel the electricity on the track. My husband did some energy clearing and we will see tomorrow if I can still feel the flux.
Also related to energy work, tonight I had a massage and the therapist did some energy work on my head. So far I don’t notice any changes, but I could feel energy shifting as he worked. So we’ll see if he “fixed the flux.”
It’s hard to explain, but today my eyesight seems to be slightly better. It is still hard to read close up and I still get dizzy when I walk but I appear to have made some tiny baby steps that I can actually feel now. And what a wonderful feeling that is. I am very thankful for baby steps. This morning I thought, “It’s about time. What’s taking so long?” The answer is clear to me: It is taking this long because there is a reason for everything and something awesome is in store for me. It’s just not ready yet. So I will continue to be patient.
Here’s a follow-up to my previous post called Energy Flux. My husband dowsed t he indoor running track and discovered detrimental energy in the exact same area that I felt the energy flux. He cleared the energy and now that area of the track no longer causes dizziness for me. However, I can still feel a little spot of energy flux within that same area. There is a supply room right next to the energy flux so I am making an assumption that something may have happened in that room to cause the detrimental energy. I’m planning to stay alert to that area as I walk and if my husband needs to clear it again he will. Weird, huh?
When I walked the track yesterday I noticed that I got dizzy at the same spot on the track every time we went around it. The spot was about 20 feet long. When I entered the spot, which I will call an “energy flux” in honor of Star Trek, it felt like I was walking into a bubble and had to “pop” through it. Then I would get dizzy and grab husband’s arm. Then a few feet later I felt like I was bursting out of the bubble again and the dizziness would disappear. If I was talking or distracted, I wouldn’t notice the energy flux. But if I was intentional about noticing it, I would. My husband tried but didn’t feel it. Today he is going to bring his dowsing rods to the track to see if he can pick of the energy and clear it. But I guess my question is: Was it “good” energy or “bad” energy? And how often do we walk through energy fields and not know it? How are we affected? I practice Healing Touch and am familiar with energy so I don’t doubt what happened.Anyway, it was kind of fun to notice this energy flux. My respects to Captains Kirk and Picard.
While walking the track today at the gym I got discouraged because I’ve been walking 30 minutes a day for several months now, and I still get tired and winded. I figured that by now I would be able to get around that track effortlessly. My conclusion is that it’s OK to get discouraged, as long as I keep walking. So I kept walking. I walked with discouragement but did not make it my constant companion. I used to think getting discouraged was a bad thing, but really it’s OK as long as I keep moving forward and don’t let it derail my plans and dreams. It’s just temporary. Just take the first three letters away and it turns into courage.
I had a sudden realization yesterday – an “aha” moment, a light bulb moment. I’m not sure if I can explain it adequately but I will try. While walking around the indoor track with my husband, my symptom of dizziness and imbalance comes on strong and I often get a little down walking the track (although I don’t get suicidal thoughts anymore). What I noticed yesterday is that when a symptom became very noticeable, emotions would come up with it. Then I would get cranky and whiny. So here’s the light bulb: If I disengage emotions from the symptoms, I feel better about myself and about life in general. I’ve had some days where I don’t pay much attention to my symptoms, and I really do feel better! It’s like having the flu – if I focus on the body aches, stuffy nose and sore throat, I really do feel lousy. But if I focus on rest and hydration and release worries and whining, I fell better. So now my challenge is to figure out a way to view my symptoms from a more emotionally detached viewpoint. Not sure how to do that, so if you have any suggestions let me know.
Sleepiness hit me hard again today, as it does most days. I decided that instead of fighting it I would give in to it. So instead of my one meditation session (OK, you could also call it a nap session), I took two. Then I took a shower and listened to my Spotify music for about an hour. Oldies bring back memories, don’t they? Every song elicited different images in my head. It just reaffirmed that I’ve had a great life. Dance on!