Still just waiting to get better. Today a couple of my nurse friends called me. We talked about holistic nursing, the nursing profession, and business. I loved it. It reminded me how much I really like my chosen field, and I can’t wait to get back to it. One of my friends invited me to New York City to see a Broadway play. I can’t wait to do that, either.
Tonight I will start taking the last semester of a coaching class at Wisdom of the Whole Coaching Academy. I am excited to get back to my education about coaching. I may not end up being a coach but the coaching skills I have learned there are valuable. The good news is the classes are over the phone and for this semester there is not much reading to do. So I think I’ll be OK.
A couple of months ago my physical therapist wanted me to list some goals. I made a small list and when I left I thought to myself that I should have added that I really wanted to be able to dance again. Dancing would make me feel alive and healed. I have a list of songs saved on Spotify and listen to them when I need some music therapy. I got in the shower this morning and turned up the volume and listened to music (Beauty and the Beast, It Don’t Matter to Me by Bread). When a dance song came on (Another One Bites the Dust by Queen) I wanted to dance in the shower but knew that could be dangerous so I didn’t. When I got out of the shower Carole King was singing Smackwater Jack and I sort of bounced to the beat. I got dried and ready for the day and then Michael Jackson came on with Billie Jean. Who CAN’T dance to that? I went downstairs and held on to my fireplace brick wall and danced away. It was great!!! I reached a goal!! Now the next step is to dance without holding onto anything, and dancing with a partner. I really love to dance, even though I am not “good” at it. Who cares? OK, I was glad nobody saw me dance today. But you know what they say: Dance like no one is watching. Done.
Interestingly, when I sat down to blog about this, Lose Yourself to Dance by Daft Punk came on! Coincidence? I don’t think so! It feels great to lose myself to dance.
An interesting event happened a couple of days ago. I decided to check the mail. It was 8 degrees outside, and as I was putting on my shoes I got a strong impression to put on my heavy coat. I was struck by the strength of the impression but still chose to ignore it, since I had on my AHNA hoodie and it was just a few yards from the front door to the mailbox. So I walked out and got the mail. As I turned from the mailbox, I fell over but caught myself with my hand on the snow-covered ground. That was very unusual because I don’t usually fall over like that unless I make a sudden move. I began to walk toward the house but found that I kept falling over. I reverted to taking just little baby steps, but still felt very disoriented, and concerned that I could not walk up the steps on the front porch. And boy was it cold! I remember thinking that I should have followed the strong prompting to wear my heavy coat. I stopped on the sidewalk and called my son, who lives in our basement apartment, and said, “Will you meet me in the front yard right away? I have a problem.” He showed up pretty fast and held my hand to get me in the house. I was pretty dizzy the rest of the day and all day yesterday. Also a little discouraged and frightened.
This was such an unexpected setback! I guess I shouldn’t call it a setback because it was a learning experience. I learned the importance of listening to the still small voice even when it seems inconvenient or dumb. I also learned, once again, about how many people I have in my life that are willing to help me at a moment’s notice. And I was reminded that healing is not on my timeline and I will have little setbacks. Getting discouraged and living in fear is easy, but not useful for forward movement. I embraced the fear and discouragement and then let them go. Today is a very good day.