Blocked

Friday I blogged about my daughter and thought I would write a follow-up post today. I am still having trouble gaining insight and finding meaning in the whole thing. I am feeling blocked. Perhaps that is why I am fussing over it. Finding meaning in something puts a calm to it. I’ll get there. While I was out to dinner Friday with my son, I received a text from my daughter simply stating, “I hate you.” Just out of the clear blue sky. I talked to my son about it a lot, which helped. When I got home I blocked her number. I also increased security at home and padlocked the gates. I’m still processing all this. Is it about my parenting? I know I made mistakes by enabling her and trying to make things easier. That’s not really the best approach. Seems like the more I give, the less it is appreciated. Is it about love and how sometimes it hurts? Is it about dealing with mental illness? I think I’m feeling a bit defeated, but at the same time I am glad the war has finally ended. Stopping the struggle and letting go actually feels pretty good. Today I spent lots of quiet time getting in touch with my feelings and thoughts. It was a nice break, but tomorrow is the first day of a new semester and I am looking forward to moving on. Seasons change and so do I.

3 thoughts on “Blocked

  1. Thank you for being able to clearly write about these issues. I am grateful. And good wishes for your upcoming semester.

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