Doing the Right Thing

The goal of my blogging is to gain and record insight from my experiences. I look for meaning in life events and in everyday occurrences, like births of grandchildren (life events) and riding the train (everyday occurrence). This week my family spent 3 days at Reid Ranch here in Utah for a family reunion. We had a great time doing activities like archery, horseback riding, tossing horseshoes, boating, volleyball, roasting marshmallows, playing card games, swimming, and eating fabulous food, all included in the price of the stay. When asked what my favorite activity was, I of course said, “just being with my family.” We talked and talked. The interesting part, that I have’t gained much insight from, is that on the second day my daughter got “in a funk” (her words) and took all of the pills she had on hand in an attempt to either kill herself or to get attention. She was up all night hallucinating and cleaning the kitchen. Honestly, it just irritated me more than anything else. She told me what a bad mom I was because I didn’t go to court with her or give her everything I’ve got. She does not seem to recognize all I have done for her. And when I give her money, it seems to let her know that no matter what, I will bail her out. I don’t do that anymore and she is very angry about it. She snapped out of her funk on the third day and apologized to several of her siblings and their wives, and seemed OK. When she got home she went to a car wash and somehow damaged her car. The police were called, charged her with disorderly conduct, and impounded her car. Since she needs a car to work, she has lost both of her jobs. She sent me a text where she called me a terrible name and pretty much blamed it all on me because I won’t help her. So… what insight am I gaining from this? I am still sitting with it all. Parenting is a challenge, and parenting someone who is mentally ill is very challenging for the whole family. I’m always wondering if I am doing the right thing.

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