Funeral Potatoes

funeral potatoes1I am not a good cook. When my husband Steve was sick, many people brought home-made food to us and I hardly cooked at all for 9 months. It gave me more time to spend with Steve and the family. I was so thankful for that kindness that when I had an opportunity to make potatoes for a friend’s funeral today, I volunteered. I felt good about beginning to pay back what I had been given. I got up early, made the casserole, went to tai chi, then came home and baked it. I got dressed and took it to the funeral, running slightly late. When I deposited the food in the kitchen, I just stood there, with the people who were organizing the food, a little paralyzed. I just could not make myself go into the funeral. I think it’s just too soon, and I would be thinking about Steve the whole time. So in the spirit of not getting upset and interrupting the funeral, I silently wished my friend well and left.  So…my big question is: Am I just being lazy or scared, or using Steve’s passing as an excuse not to sit through a sad event? When will I be OK at funerals? Soon, I think, but I’m not going to push it. I’ll just keep making those funeral potatoes and one of these days I’ll stay for the funeral. Baby steps.

5 thoughts on “Funeral Potatoes

  1. I think you hit the nail on the head: it’s just too soon. I like “baby steps.” How kind of you to make potatoes. BTW, they look delish!

  2. Everyone grieves in a different manner. It really is something that you will know when the right time is. Good luck and prayers in your direction


  3. the path of grieving is so individual……no linear good way to look at it. Just “feel” your way on that path…like this incident…don’t judge…just be…..
    Blessings in abundance to you


  4. Hi Glenda, Greg, my husband, died almost 20 years ago, and I still have a hard time at funerals, as a matter of fact I am going to one this afternoon. Greg died in May and Christopher’s dentist drowned the following October, so I went to the funeral. Too soon, I wept threw the whole hour and 1/2 service. I’m glad you just took potatoes! Love and miss you, Jeanne

  5. I think it is great that you are following your own intuition! You will know when you are ready–in any particular situation. Important to honor yourself and your own healing process!

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