Life moves on rapidly. Seems I spend my days doing paperwork. Although Steve and I worked diligently to get everything in order before he passed, there is still a boatload of details to handle. Like taking his name off of all of our accounts, seeing a financial counselor to tell me what I need to know, seeing an attorney to revise my own will, working with Steve’s business accountant, and the list goes on. In addition I am doing my “regular” stuff like going to Tai Chi, preparing a talk for church, teaching classes at the University, going to a movie or lunch with a friend, meditating, and seeing my doctors as I continue to recover from brain surgery. I am still experiencing fatigue, headaches, nausea and dizziness. I think I notice them more now since Steve passed. Steve’s Hospice nurse said my life was on hold while he was sick. She was right. I felt like I couldn’t do much because I didn’t want to leave him alone. Now it is on ballistic mode and I am crazy busy. Life changes so fast. The trick is to enjoy the present moment because it will never be the same again. The grief still comes and goes, unannounced, so I never know how I will feel from moment to moment.
I would like to start cooking again. Mainly just to save money and get rid of the guilt I feel for eating out so often. I made some monster fries the other night but had to call my friend Carol so she could remind me how to roast the fries in the oven. Some friends dropped off breakfast fixings so my son Brad and I made eggs and bacon and toast. By learning to cook again I am giving myself one more thing to do. The challenge will be to learn to actually enjoy cooking. We’ll see how it goes. If you have any easy recipes for someone who hates cooking, feel free to send them to me.