Live and Learn

Last week I had two separate and opposite experiences about death. On Sunday I met with a friend who has been given “weeks” to live.  She has the same diagnosis that I had (meningioma). She has three tumors in her brain. They are inoperable and growing rapidly. She is  69 years old and she wants to live until she is 70. She is very determined so she will probably make it to her birthday. Another friend of mine had a heart attack and stroke resulting in blindness, extreme fatigue, and a decreased ability to communicate. I think he is ready to go, but lingers on. We never know what life will bring. When we are ready to go, sometimes we hang around and wonder why, and when we want to live, sometimes death makes an appointment that we cannot reschedule. There are days when I am ready to go, and other days when I want to live here forever. It is dawning on me that living every day to the fullest is a good idea. I say that phrase often, but I don’t really do it. I have some seemingly small decisions to make, like whether to continue working full-time, whether to continue taking a class I don’t really like, when to go to Disneyland, etc. In order to enjoy life to the fullest every day, it seems like I should make these decisions and get on with it. These small decisions often end up making a big difference in how or if I embrace life to the fullest. When my appointment with death arrives, whether I’m ready or not, at the very least I want to say that I did my best to take advantage of opportunities and learn all I could. Live and learn. Live life to the fullest. I gotta stop just saying these cliches and actually do them.

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