Loneliness

For the first year after my husband died I got lonely in the evenings. I was used to having him around and it felt empty without him to talk to about the events of the day. I finally got used to being alone and feel like I’ve adjusted well. However, today I finished all of my preparation work for next semester (I’m a nursing professor), and feelings of loneliness came up. It makes me wonder: Does keeping busy with my job distract me from taking a look at my feelings? Do I use my job to avoid feelings? I never really thought of that before, probably because I’ve been too busy! When I was at the bank today I felt the loneliness hit and decided to be mindful about it, like I teach my students. I said out loud, Huh! This is what loneliness feels like! I didn’t resist it, I observed it and felt it and experienced it. That helped a lot. And honestly, it’s not that bad. There’s a lot worse. But I do think I need to get out more. Is that because I want to avoid being lonely? Well, yeah.

One thought on “Loneliness

  1. You could always come visit me, in your spare time lol. Of course I am back working nights M/T. Text me. I do understand you miss him. I’m sure especially this time of year and I’ll bet your kids do too.

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