Ready or Not

I went to a singles conference and dance at a local church yesterday. The conference was good, with workshops about communication, gardening, finances, and other things that older singles might be interested in, like applying for Medicare. Lunch was great. I met some interesting men and women and laughed a lot. I went home to rest before the dance, looking forward to the live band. When I arrived at the dance, it was like an orchestra, playing big band stuff, like from the ’40’s.  I’m really a rock ‘n roll kinda girl so I was a bit disappointed. There weren’t a lot of people there, but I had a great time. Just stayed for an hour. I love to dance. I smiled and laughed and felt free and energetic.

Today at church I asked one of my friends, whom I had invited to the conference and dance, why she didn’t come. She lost her husband a few months after I lost mine. She said she really wanted to go but whenever she went to contact me, she just couldn’t bring herself to do it. She felt a lot of fear, but realized that she’s just not ready for the single social scene yet. I told her I completely understand. It got me to thinking. Perhaps I’m not ready yet. And perhaps I never will be. That’s OK.  I do love to dance, and meet new people, and continue learning, but I’m not interested in or ready to look for a serious relationship right now. This girl just wants to have fun.  And what does being ready feel like? I’m not really sure. I’ll just take one day at a time and enjoy what I can. And dance as much as possible.

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